After writing my column on resolutions I, of course, pondered the past year and coming year. I have been trying to reconcile my present with my past and future. In typical Glynis fashion, this involves analyzing where I am and identifying the mistakes I made to get here and figuring out how to make better choices when any opportunities arise. I am responsible for my choices, and I blame myself for my regression.

Over the past couple of months, though, little extra ingredients are making me stop and take note about how to get my life back on track. These messages are continuing to converge—so many that it doesn’t seem to indicate a clear, simple, healing broth rather more of a dark chili with layers of textures and flavors and probably some uncomfortable heat. I feel like I’m starting from scratch, but these incidents are distinctive and are already having an impact on what is simmering.

Sweet: A few entries ago I introduced medium Carol Borkoski, a very sweet woman who focuses on messages of light and love. We’ve chatted several times since the first interview, and invariably she says spirits are practically lining up to get messages to me. Two are recurring: that I’m going to be moving (?) and that I worry too much (shocker.) I also just received an email from her with a part-time business idea for me that sounds very interesting.

Savory: While researching I stumbled across a website that intrigued me, www.theconsciouslife.com. Through this site I found an offer of some free motivational downloads by a speaker named Guy Finley. He’s funny and down to earth, and the subject of his talk series was “The Illusion of Limitation.” Did I need to hear this or what? One of his themes is about “I-mage” and how it isn’t real, but influences so many things that we do. A portion that really stayed with me was, in short, about jumping to conclusions and worrying (shocker) 1. about something that hasn’t happened yet or 2. about which I may not have all of the information. The mind automatically reacts and creates an “I-mage” of a situation that appears to be happening, but may in reality be something totally different. An example: a wife sees her husband at lunch with her best friend. The wife creates a whole story of infidelity and betrayal based on this and the fact that neither mentions the lunch to her. She becomes angry, hurt and upset. The reality of the situation was that the husband and friend were planning the wife’s surprise birthday party. I’m learning that if I stay in the present and don’t create scenes in my head to worry about, I’m better able to go with the flow, and things don’t turn out as badly as I’d feared.

Bitter: How I could learn a lesson from a sappy Christmas movie on hulu, I don’t know, but this line from “The 12 Dates of Christmas” hit me over the head like a wooden spoon. In the style of “Groundhog Day,” our heroine keeps waking up on the floor of a department store and re-living her Christmas Eve. She has a blind date that night, and is trying to rekindle the flame with her ex. After a few of these episodes, she sees her doctor thinking that she needs psychiatric help. She says, “I’m moving forward with my life. I’m going to get Jack back.” Her doctor replies, “Getting something back is not moving forward.” DONG-g-g-g-g….I’ve lived in regret for this whole year. I miss my friends on the Coast and in Rochester; I miss my clothes and books and music packed away in my storage unit 2800 miles away; I miss my cozy little bungalow style house on Melville with its pine trees and wisteria and leaded glass—the only place I’ve ever felt truly at home. But I sold it to move to Oregon, and I can’t get it back. This is a hard pill for me to swallow. It’s a thing, a thing that I love and I have to let go, even though I have photos of it that I carried back with me from Oregon. I have to focus on finding a new place to live for a new life. So, there. (But if I win the lottery, I’ll be buying my house back.)

Salty: I had a dream last week about a grizzly bear nudging me down a hall at a woodland resort. I could feel him behind me, and I was terrified but didn’t want to make any sudden moves. I was worried (again) about the families in the hallway and tried to keep the bear’s focus on walking through with me and away from attacking the children. I could hear him breathing and feel his nose and shoulder pushing my back. The end of the hallway was open to the outside, and the bear tottered off into the woods across the drive, and I woke up. Of course I had to look up animal totems and meanings to find out why this bear appeared in my dream. Apparently bears symbolize introspection and the subconscious. There is a need to quiet the mind and tap into inner energy to find answers. I may be going into a leadership position or have an opportunity for healing. Regardless of the specifics, I recognized the dream as an enhancement of actions that I’ve been taking in my waking life.

Spicy: I spent Friday night and Saturday hanging out at cousins Randy and Lisa’s house. We had some wine, talked, watched movies and ate “mass quantities” of nuts and cookies. In one of the movies, “Knight and Day,” Tom Cruise tells Cameron Diaz about his fantasy-wish-list full of interesting moments in exotic places.  I used to have one of these. It unfortunately was so long ago that I’ve forgotten what was on it. I think I’ll have to come up with another one in 2012—the sky’s the limit. What moments would I want on my bucket list? Time to have some mental fun. A little spice is good for you.

So as I look at where I am now, I’m preparing for changes ahead—not “I-magined” changes, real ones this year. It’s clear that I have to move on. I’ve decided to work on two Resolutions, based on these ingredients from 2011. The first is to complete a book by the end of the year. People have been urging me to write one for several years, so I’ve decided to make it happen. The second is an experimental project that I’ll write about later. I’m going to take my own advice.

I’m going to step back a bit from the outcomes, and I feel that I’ll be making the recipe up as I go. In any case, I have plenty of food for thought.